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Well it is Friday and I have almost made it through my first week back at work. It has been a busy week and the stress, particularly in the first few days, was intense. Being a bankruptcy lawyer in the middle of a recession, even in a firm that is not a bankruptcy firm can be very stressful.
The first day was the worse, other than a food incident detailed later in this post. I was asked to be in work by 8am, though no one really got to me until late morning. I did not leave until 5pm and I was dog tired. Not sleepy tired but really bone tired.
The other thing I noticed is that my concentration was not great. I could get tasks done, but figuring out the really complicated deal issues for a distressed company and as part of the work out of a large multibank distressed loan was very difficult. I had to really go over things a couple of times to understand situations that I would have normally had no problem with on fist pass.
The second day back was a little easier, and we actually interviewed a bankruptcy lateral which brought my spirits up. Eating my little bit of tempeh or low fat chili etc was boring, and I felt cut off from everyone else who is eating what ever they want. That at least was the feeling.
The third day and the second day were similar, but Thursday was a reminder of the fact that I did have gastric bypass surgery. I tried to each a Boca Burger for lunch while trying to get work done at the same time. What a disaster. I ate too fast and was as nauseous, as I was on Thanksgiving after the turkey incident, for about an hour. I had nothing further to eat or drink until the evening.
It also took the wind out of my sails. I had to go home early and participate from home on a conference call.
Well it is Friday and I am really really tired in the bone tired sense, but functioning,. I am going to try a boca burger for lunch, but very slowly and using mindful eating techniques.
Another strange physical change is my new aversion to the cold. I always walked around without a jacket or with a light jacket even in the dead of winter. Now 32 degrees gets right into my bones. Thankfully, my wonderful wife bought me a the ultimate down jacket last year and it actually still fits.
I have also been experiencing muscle pains which may be from a changes in my posture or just tension.
I am also starting to lose weight again. For part of the week as I transitioned into more solid food I stopped losing weight at the torrential pace of the first two weeks after surgery. Now it is starting to come off again. As I have said in this blog my fantasy is that I will have had the surgery and the weight will not come off.
I do wonder how long I can endure the stress of work on 700 calories a day. I know that I am still on the restrictions on fruit and vegetables for several more weeks and hope I can keep up even a small level of my energy.
I am looking forward to the weekend. I need to chill if I can. Next week promises to be very stressful. Will try and write more about my phsycial changes over the weekend. Best Rich
